Is Anger about You or Others? - Karen Berrios

Is Anger about You or Others?

Like me, you have probably experienced anger towards someone or something that let you down, hurt you or didn’t meet your expectations. While this emotion is very valid, we may all respond to it very differently even if faced with the same situation. This made me wonder, how is it that we may all respond differently? I think as we grow we learn behavioral patterns to react to specific emotions, whether we learned them through our parents, our environment our it is just built in our DNA. These learned patterns are built in us subconsciously and we just become reactive to situations or triggers.

Meeting Jesus has taught me so much about myself and how I can live differently if I choose so. I have learned that anger is a very powerful emotion that drives people to do really crazy things and causes more grief if we react negatively. You would say though…. – Sometimes I can’t help it, but I just get so angry with… Completely understand and relate! The bible shows that God has experienced anger too, but He has shown love and mercy every time in every situation. At this time, you are probably saying, yes but I am not God!! True but what if this is an invitation?

I have learned we all experience anger, but not all of us know that anger is about you and not others. What I mean is that when you choose to get angry, you are CHOOSING this over your peace and this my friend is a personal choice made only by YOU. Anger is really never about the other person but only about you. I used to give so much power to other people over my feelings and circumstances but as I have come to understand that I can choose how to respond, I have experienced more freedom in my life. I no longer hold people hostage in my thoughts for how angry they made me feel. I choose to let it go and change my perspective about the situation. It has been SOOO liberating to practice this.

Now please don’t confuse this as not having boundaries. People can trigger anger in you for things they may have done, but they no longer have power over you to hold you hostage in this emotion if you don’t let it. I come into acceptance of what people are able to do or not do in my life, of what others can or cannot give me. I have the power to choose every time!  And now I choose to embrace and honor them as who they are in God. I set boundaries, and this allows me to take care of myself and preserve healthy relationships.

 

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